What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 28.06.2025 04:09
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Make Nazis afraid again!
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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
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At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
How do flat earthers explain the Earth being stationary? Is this concept considered impossible?
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
TEXT:
Can someone write me a sex story?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Is it possible for doctors to diagnose prostate cancer just by looking at a patient?
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!